Weird Dreams

I really don't know why I'm writing about this but for some reason felt an urge to write it down. Yesterday I was feeling a bit miffed or blown off by a friend before I went to sleep.

I dreamed I was back in college but it was more like present day. Yet it was the first college I went to. And my friend was there too but I'm not sure if he was attending or what capacity he was there. Could be I only saw him on weekends during football games.

Anyhow I was upset that in the year I'd been back I'd only seen him like twice and both times it was only fleeting and he was spending time with other friends so only gave me a cursory 'hi, how are you' then was back to talking to his other friends.

I talked to him more via email and there were these 'public email stations' around campus where you could write an email while waiting for class, etc. So I wrote him an email asking why I'd only gotten to see him twice and why he hardly said anything to me. I must've taken a while because I remember turning around and seeing a woman waiting patiently to use the 'email station', probably for more important things than I was using it for. I finished up my email but the dream wasn't clear on whether I sent it or printed it out.

I remember leaving that building and walking on campus toward the library, thinking that maybe that was where my friend spent a lot of his time on campus if he was actually taking classes there.

I was deep in thought and not really aware of the people around me when a man sitting outside at a table commented to me as I walked slowly past. He said something like 'Don't take it so hard', or 'Don't let it get you down', or 'It's not that bad, cheer up'. Not exactly sure what his comment was, only that it made me stop because it was like he knew I was really bummed out about something and he was trying to offer some bit of encouragement to me, not even knowing who I was.

Yet when I turned and looked at him, he was extremely familiar. I seem to remember he was my instructor for some class I had taken a long time ago. He didn't recall me at all he said, and the more I looked at him, the more sure I was that I was in some class he taught several years ago but it was either a class I didn't do well in or I ended up dropping. I asked his name thinking that might jar my memory but he told me his name was Heath and I wouldn't have known him by his first name if he'd been my instructor, but by his last name.

Then I woke up. Just felt like a very odd dream.

Really Tired

I've been really tired and sleepy all day. I got plenty of sleep, perhaps too much. Been fighting it all day. Now I'm in bed and I'm awake. I think I'll be able to fall out quickly though since I use a white noise/sound effect app and it seems to put me right out. I listen to either cicadas/crickets, ocean waves, rain, thunderstorm or a purring cat; depending on my mood.

Also, I want to give a quick shout out to a friend that might stop by and read this. I'm thinking about you right now...

Ok, time to sleep and hope I have more energy tomorrow...

Down In The Dumps

Really been depressed today. It sucks being so broke and no hope on the immediate horizon. I should know something this month about my C&F investigation. Most likely I will have to go to a hearing, which means I have to find a way to come up with about $3000 to hire an attorney for this type of thing. Hard to do living on hubby's unemployment and food stamps.

Another reason that I'm depressed is just being around hubby 24/7 because he is depressed too and we just keep rubbing the gloom and doom attitude off on each other it seems. He's just given up trying to do anything to get money coming in, except for selling household items, which only depresses me more. I'm feeling overwhelmed as it is, dealing with a bankruptcy all by myself, trying to save our home from foreclosure, and keep the lights, water, and Internet on, plus dealing with my medical issues (that I have no money to deal with).

This is not what I imagined it'd be like after law school and passing the Bar. Of course, I did lose my mother the last year of law school, which also meant I lost the $1800 a month she was providing for assistance on our mortgage and expenses while I was in school. Everything pretty much went quickly downhill from there and hasn't stopped. And trying to find a job with a law degree and no law license has been impossible so far.

So yep, things really are pretty gloomy right now.

Article: Private Prisons & The Enslavement Society

Private Prison Article

Sick...

I have had this cold about a week now. Tired of blowing my nose and coughing. I took a hot shower earlier and felt a little better but now I'm feeling kinda raunchy again. Have to get the energy to clean the catbox and finish getting the trash out. Hubby is cooking Cornish game hen for dinner. He spent the day working on our car but he is still sick, too.

New Chapter, New Blog

I haven't been blogging much in quite a while. Didn't have the time in law school but now that I'm out of school, I have more time. Getting into and through law school was challenging for me due to many reasons. I'm still waiting to be licensed (more on that later) & many of my most challenging times have been since I walked across that stage to get my law degree, supposedly to start the next chapter of my life, hence the name for my new blog. More to come, stay tuned...